Sandeep's Log: February 2006

Feb 25, 2006

Six Men of Indostan

Couldn't think of anything original to come up with, so decided to share this with you.

One of my all time favorites, have quoted this everywhere from dinner tables to interviews, to kids and to self styled "grown ups".

It was six men of Indostan To learning much inclined, Who went to see the Elephant (Though all of them were blind), That each by observation Might satisfy his mind The First approached the Elephant, And happening to fall Against his broad and sturdy side, At once began to bawl: “God bless me! but the Elephant Is very like a wall!” The Second, feeling of the tusk, Cried, “Ho! what have we here So very round and smooth and sharp? To me ’tis mighty clear This wonder of an Elephant Is very like a spear!” The Third approached the animal, And happening to take The squirming trunk within his hands, Thus boldly up and spake: “I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant Is very like a snake!” The Fourth reached out an eager hand, And felt about the knee. “What most this wondrous beast is like Is mighty plain,” quoth he; “ ‘Tis clear enough the Elephant Is very like a tree!” The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear, Said: “E’en the blindest man Can tell what this resembles most; Deny the fact who can This marvel of an Elephant Is very like a fan!” The Sixth no sooner had begun About the beast to grope, Than, seizing on the swinging tail That fell within his scope, “I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant Is very like a rope!” And so these men of Indostan Disputed loud and long, Each in his own opinion Exceeding stiff and strong, Though each was partly in the right, And all were in the wrong! And the moral? I could say paragraphs about this piece, but the poet himself puts it in the most concise way possible: So oft in theologic wars, The disputants, I ween, Rail on in utter ignorance Of what each other mean, And prate about an Elephant Not one of them has seen!: To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant: (Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation: Might satisfy his mind
The First approached the Elephant,: And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,: At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant: Is very like a wall!”
The Second, feeling of the tusk,: Cried, “Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?: To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant: Is very like a spear!”
The Third approached the animal,: And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,: Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant: Is very like a snake!”
The Fourth reached out an eager hand,: And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like: Is mighty plain,” quoth he;
“ ‘Tis clear enough the Elephant: Is very like a tree!”
The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,: Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;: Deny the fact who can
This marvel of an Elephant: Is very like a fan!”
The Sixth no sooner had begun: About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail: That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant: Is very like a rope!”
And so these men of Indostan: Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion: Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,: And all were in the wrong!; And the moral? I could say paragraphs about this piece, but the poet himself puts it in the most concise way possible:
So oft in theologic wars,: The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance: Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant: Not one of them has seen!

Feb 2, 2006

Aakhon hi Aakhon Mein

With the recent shaadi season looming large and people taking breaks half way through the semester to complete their responsibilities as guests to the Great Indian Marriage Ceremony(GIMC, pronounced Gymyk), a discussion sprouted in our wing: The nayan matkaing sessions during marriages/receptions.
It's the harmless flirting one indulges in such ceremonies lasting a ephemeral hour at max with a girl from the other side.

Here's how it progresses.

Step 1: Guy spots the cutest chick in the arena and stares relentlessly.
Result: Girl sees him ogling at her, gets a bit nervous.

Step 2: Guy continues Step 1
Result: Girl takes a few sideways glances with increasing frequency to check if he's still looking at her.

Step 3: Guy continues Step 1, but eases it a little bit.
Result: Now it is the other way round, girl is staring at him when he looks at her.

Surprise Step: Turns out guy and girl have some common relative/friend who brings them together, introduces one to the other and departs. But sadly, with all the previous non verbal communication, guy's lost the opportunity to start a decent hi-hello type of talk, and just stands there in awkward silence. Girl walks away even more awkwardly, pretending to find a long lost acquaintance in the other end of the arena.

Step 2 and 3 alternate for some more time.

The End: Girl departs with parents, inevitably it's the girl who departs, it's like some corollary of Murphy's law taking effect here. But here comes the sweetest moment in this short lived love story, the girl turns back to look at guy one last time from the gates. Eyes meet, Guy looks, sighs at the lost opportunity to start something beautiful and buries his face in his food.

Well who said Indian Marriages are boring affairs, it's for opportunities like this that I used to frequent marriage parties.

Yes, if you haven't guessed it yet, this account was completely based on personal experience. Laugh, if you found the above experience totally unlike you, but I'm sure there must be similar not-so-suave friends of mine who would be sympathizing with me.

Of course the point of view is totally male and I would really like some experiences from my women readers to complement the account.

PS: My story turned out a little differently once, the situation was not quite the GIMC, but the ambiance was similar, thus, similar steps were attempted but some drastic turn of events took place half way through. More on that in a later post.