Malgudi Express

“The hardest of all things for a novelist to communicate is the extraordinary ordinariness of most human happiness…Jane Austen, Soseki, Chekov: a few bring it off. Narayan is one of them”. – Francis King

In spite of his abilities of insightful observations, what Mr. King possibly will not be able fathom is the rush of happy memories R K Narayan brings to someone who has grown up reading his stories.

Setting off for work today, I picked up Malgudi Days and as Chennai suburbia zipped past so did the stories roll from one to the other, bringing to life, simultaneously, the characters from a nondescript town somewhere in South India, and days from my past when I came across them.

As I read the first story, An Astrologer’s Day, I could almost see smudgy pencil marks underlining, then strange, words in my reader in class 8th. That was my first acquaintance with these words. As life went on and things started getting complicated, the words and phrases picked up undertones and connotations beyond the simple definitions I had scribbled next to them. But seeing them once again being mouthed by an astrologer who, "...sat under the boughs of a spreading tamarind tree..." the words shrugged off all the grime they had collected over the years and became virgin again, expressing only what the author intended them to.

Narayan’s earthy style enchants you twice, first with the characters and the stories themselves and second, with memories of shared ‘tiffins’ with school time crushes, pot bellied English teachers, butterflies of the night-before-exam variety, Doordarshan, wannabe rock stars giving a rendition of the Malgudi tune on their electric guitars and preparations of elocution pieces . It is said that the sense of smell has the greatest ability to bring back old memories; if it’s true then I’m sure that the stories from Malgudi carry the aroma of childhood.

I walked into the bookstore, and there she was. In the Cinema Section. A face so pretty, your heart ached. Those eyes, a question and a smirk hidden in them, the eyebrows, betraying a hint of surprise. Strands of hair on the forehead escaping the neat little bun on the top of the head. A tiara that didn't quite belong there. Pearl necklaces making the black dress look even darker. A cigarette in one of her hands and her chin on the other. Lips that seem not to smile at what you are saying but at something that is right behind you.
I was transfixed. Just stood there looking at her.

See her here

Overheard

Overheard on the eve of independence day,

"Independence day? Why should I fool myself , I probably won't ever do anything for my country, I'll get married, have kids, make truckloads of money and die. Tomorrow? I have a team-out dinner at work. I'm just enjoying a holiday tomorrow."

Neat!

Saw this on the Orkut Blog, pretty cute!

The Song in the Street

Its 8:30 am and I am standing in a queue in front of an ATM, I turn back to look at the view behind me. It’s a small avenue with apartments 3-4 stories high, interspersed with little shops bearing the standard banners of Airtel, Pepsi, Reliance and the like. The dust swirling around climbs the shafts of sunlight coming through the trees. Fat housewives drag their kids and shopping bags into and out of the shops. Bald men with bags and busy expressions trot along the footpath, frowning into their mobile phones. A Hero Puch jostles with a Honda City, a Maruti elbows its way between cycles and Indicas to get ahead. The smug looking autorickshaw wallahs lounge about in their resplendent sunflower yellow vehicles chatting and scratching themselves.
I had barely stifled a yawn at the sheer monotony of it when, suddenly, the scene shifted slightly in front of my eyes.
The autowallahs peeked out, the vehicles on the road slowed down a notch, the guy behind me in the line looked at me and smiled and for a second everyone on the street stopped doing what they were doing and cocked their heads, listening. Coming from somewhere far away through scratchy loudspeakers, barely audible over the clamour in the street, one could hear a chorus of children singing, “…punjab, sindh, gujarat, maratha, dravida, utkala, banga, vindhya, himachal, yamuna, ganga, uchhala jaladhi taranga…”

Bollywood Bonanza

This is a first on my blog. A guest blogger! This guy's soon coming on the blog circle soon (as soon as he thinks of a quirky enough pseudonym).. Will reveal his link as soon as its up. For now hope you have fun. By the way 'Sandy' is me!

Conversation Ho To Aisi

ME: Oye yaar, I have been thinking about this since last night but can't get it yaar. Help nahi to mar jaaonga.

SANDY: Bolo Bolo Tell Tell

ME: What was that movie name where there is a guy who plays an inspector and keeps dreaming of catching a big time goon but always ends up doing weird things in real life under his dream effect?

SANDY: No clue man….but who plays that inspector role?

ME: Shucks………can't believe the name just slipped……….well he played the dad in that comedy serial that used to come every Friday on DD metro……….no I think every Saturday…….maybe at 9 PM

SANDY: Saturday ……umm let me think…..DD metro……(scratching his nose as he always did when he thought hard)…….9 PM was the time for Superhit Muqabla………and there was a time when a comedy side track was added to the countdown…….was he there?

ME: No man……..what has that fatso got to do with Superhit Muqabla?

SANDY: O…..he was a fatso…..ummmmmm………..Adnan Sami??(chuckles at his own stupid guess and brandishes an imaginary shield in defense)

ME: It's killing me man…….. if I don't get his name by tonight, I sure will become a zombie……..and if you can't help then the least you can do is shove that Adnan Sami of yours up in some place you prefer………. Don't you remember that fatso was called an "aate ki bori" in one another comedy movie?

SANDY: Yah Yah…….I remember the film……….isn't it the one with 2 heroes……..one is Aamir and the other one …………..ummmm (scratching again)…….maybe Salman??

ME: No No No………..that movie was Andaz Apna Apna……….

SANDY: Hey but that one was a hell of a movie, hai na……? Remember "Yeh raat aur yeh doorie "

ME: "Tera milna hai zaroori"

Both break into an instant jugalbandi

ME: And remember that champion line……….."Isme ek hi goli thi"

SANDY: (Almost rolling) Crime master Gogo!!!!!!!! My fav Bolly Goon!!!! And remember " Main Teja hoon, mark idhar hai"

ME: "Yeh Teja Teja Kya Hai. Yeh Teja Teja"

SANDY: BTW, is that Teja your fatso?

ME: Who fatso?

SANDY: Man…..the one we were digging……….

ME: O……… let me think…………no yaar……..he is Paresh Rawal….Tu bhi na………hudd kar deta hai kabhi kabhi………But how did we get to Teja……..??

SANDY: From your aate ki bori………..u dumbo……….any other movie you can think of?

ME: Ummm….let me think (without scratching of course)……Okkkkkk….. yaad hai?……….the Govinda movie…..Hero Number One?

SANDY: "Main tujhko bhaga laaya hoon tere ghar se"????

ME: "Tere baap ke darr se, tere baap ke darr se" (Trying to add some symphony to it with my claps)

SANDY: So what's with the movie then?

ME: This fatso was in there as well……….played some relative to the heroine……..

SANDY: Okkkkkkkkk boss……….I got it………her ever haggling grandpa……..right? Remember his line " Aaj inki maa zinda hoti to phir se mar jaati"?

ME: Ek baat bata yaar….honestly……..is Paresh Rawal your latest turn on? I mean why can't you think of somebody else man?

SANDY: Yaar the way you said "Ek baat bata yaar….honestly", tell me which movie has Big B say the exact line (and flashes that inimitable smile whenever he had a great question up his sleeve)

ME: Kaante……Big B to Mahesh Manjrekar………the complete line is "Ek baat bata yaar….honestly….tujhe yahaan aane ka passport kisne diya ?"

SANDY: "Is ki maa ne…..bachpan se hi passport office me kaam karti thi "

Both of us share a high five and a low five.

ME: Now can we get back to my fatso?

SANDY: Who fatso?

ME: Grrrrr

SANDY: Joke tha Ji……… (flashes a nautanki smile)

ME: Arey……..tell me who says the same line the same stupid way?

SANDY: You think I don't know? Johny Lever to his wife in K3G……….But I really like the next line after this……..remember he tells this to his wife and she replies……" Chodhiye Ji"

ME: And Johny bhai says………"Pakda kab tha Ji"

ME and SANDY together: Long live Aslam Bhai (and another round of high and low fives)

SANDY: But our fatso is still on the loose.

ME: Haan yaar……..you know how terrible is this…right? I mean it's like having a devilish itch in your body with god forsaken coordinates. You know you can't do it alone and all that I have got is you. Do have any idea, hum kitna bhatak chuke hain??

SANDY: Ok Ok…. Now we will talk only business…but how did it all start?………all I remember now is we were digging some fatso out of the aate ki bori…….and chuckles again.

ME: Yaar aate se yaad aaya……..bhookh lag rahi hai…….ghar me kuch hai khaane ko?

SANDY: Saale ab kaun bhatka raha hai……….? Chal bread ommlette khaate hain, chai peete hain phir sochte hain………Kya bolta hai?

ME: Ek Garam chai ki pyaali ho

SANDY: Dhen Dhen Dhen……Dhen Dhen Dhen

ME: Koi usko pilaane waali ho

SANDY: Saale main hoon……!!

ME: O yaara………thanks a ton……… J

SANDY: Get well soon mere Lucky Singh!!!!

ME: And Pepsi hai?

SANDY: Hai bey.

ME: And black salt to season it?

SANDY: Hai mere baap. Tu nahi sudhrega.

ME: Wrong line sir. You should have said "Tum nahi sudhroge" to which I would have answered " Ji bilkul nahi, jo sudhar gaya woh Raj Malhotra nahi"

SANDY: Who is this Raj Malhotra now?

ME: Seen Bhagbaan?

SANDY: Nah

ME: Then forget it, tu abhi bachcha hai!

SANDY: Grrrrrr

And both of us set off to the kitchen after one hell of a conversation with the ever alluding fatso still hiding in some part of these Bollywood dominated brains of ours. But did we care.

Hic! DFE Ishtyle!

A tribute to the hundreds of parties at my erstwhile residence D First East, Patel or more aptly: ‘DFE Bar’.

“What we said”
*and what we meant*




“I’m in control”
*I’m having fun*

“Nahi be aaj nahi, mujhe sona hai”
*Unlike you losers, I’ve got something better to do tonight*

“18 till I die”
*Wish I was a star like Bryan Adams*

“Idhar aa, mujhe tujhe thapad maarna hai”
*I’m drunk and I can get away with it*


“Tu pee sale, paise main deta hoon”
*I hope you’ll do the same when I’m broke*

“Yeh beer mug phekte hain sale, kitne ki hogi 20 rupaye, 30 rupaye?”
*Let it be known, I’m really drunk*


“Ek quarter aur mangaate hain”
*Damn! Everybody else is more drunk than me, need to catch up quick*

“Aakhri hai chal bottoms up maarte hain”
*Lets hope this last one knocks us out*


“Isko room tak kaun leke jayega?”
*Not me, I don’t want his pukey mouth slobbering on my shoulder*

“Isko yahin pade rehne do”
*Me neither*



“Aaj ***** ki m** c*** doonga”
*I really won’t do anything like that, just break some furniture in frustration instead*


“Oye 2nd year, upper aa, bhondu pata hai?”
*Tag! You’re it!*

“Mujhe puke maarna hai”
*Party’s over for me, you may need to carry me home *

“Abe, I love you be”
*Abe I love you be*


Cheers to all DFE partying everywhere, may it never end!






This just in: J. in a hep bar in Mumbai, on being served a tequila shot,


“Abe itna kam kya be ...charnaamrit de rahe ho kya "

Dream on...

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master...

...Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it...

Among the many things that separate us, human beings, from animals is the ability to dream.

In each of our personal lives, we have a profession, work hard, give up the little joys to make our own dreams come true. Some do, many don't. The results though rarely seem to be commensurate with our efforts and sacrifices. A sore point for all of us.

The young man who dreams of becoming an airline pilot, and does so, sees his personal life shattered as he spends days and nights in strange countries with strange people around him.

The scientist burning the midnight oil to find that that delta improvement in that parameter might not have been worth those hours of solitude.

The lonely guy in the factory making hundreds of thousands of an article he has no personal use of, wondering whether he will ever get to buy a BMW this way.[:P]

But take heart!

We are not working without a purpose, our sacrifices are not in vain. We are in the profession of making dreams come real, not only ours but more importantly the dreams of humanity. We are the ones who make people fly, we are the ones who help people live longer, we are the ones who help lonely souls miles across share their lives. True, at times when dreams of humanity and our personal dreams run counter to each other there is dilemma and pain, but don't forget to smile at the fact that man today has made true, things he used to fantasize about centuries ago. So keep at it, your dreams are coming to life, slowly but surely and the whole world is working for it.

Enlightenment at the Food Court

Net result of a conversation each with A and Y, and shopping for Wai-Wai noodles:


One click and you can see what people at the other end of the world are doing right now, broadcast your emotions through out the world, relive any memory, order food, order entertainment, request company, catch up with friends, catch up on knowledge.

One little tap dance on the mobile phone and you can talk with whomsoever you wish, pass private messages, catch up on news, sports and what not.

One stop at a mall, and you can watch movies, have food, buy clothes, groceries and lots of stuff you never knew you needed.


We are the generation of instant gratification, but the problem is, the real stuff that life is all about come after a lot of patience, perseverance and pain. What greater proof than the fact that the beginning of life is heralded by pain.


Unfortunately, no one offers Life 101.

The Backbencher Syndrome

Time: Summer 2005
Venue: Some classroom in Department of Electrical Engineering, IIT Kharagpur

“The line to ground capacitance thus has a net leading effect on the transmission line…”

S : A for apple (draws an apple on the notebook), B for Ball (draws a ball), C for cat (tries drawing a cat, gives up) C for…C for…
P and Me giggle
S (glaring): Cup, you perverts. (Proceeds to draw a nice little tea cup)
P: Is ke baad hindi alphabet ka banayenge.
S and Me give smiles of complete agreement

“…people not interested in this class may leave, and if I remember, you three barely passed in the mid-semesters.”







Time: Summer 2007
Venue: Some conference room, in some factory in Chennai

“…the purchase order requisition is given through this command, which is again linked to the finished good identification because…”

H (looking at the new Orkut homepage) : Yeh bandi maal hai, she’s mine.
B: Ok, I take that foreigner one.
Me: I still don’t understand why none of you like this one, I find her cute.
H (shrugs): To each his own, I say we give this hairy dude to K.
K: Sale, tune meri biwi ka photo nahi dekha hai, isiliye yeh bol rahaa hai.
B: Hee hee…

“Please pay attention, I wouldn’t be repeating all this stuff”






I still haven’t been able to put a finger on what has changed and what hasn’t.

Rukavat ke liye khed

For all those who were waiting for my pre-announced post...a thousand apologies for my delay. The following is my bundle of excuses:

 

1. A painfully slow dial up connection

2. I was busy at work! Don't make that face, I really was! Honest!

3. I have decided upon a life of routine and regularity and had forgotten to give a time slot to blogging. (There you go, making that face again!)

4. I was plain lazy

 

Anyways, as things go, there seems to be a strange-mood wave doing the rounds in these here parts of the world. While one of us finds the meaning of corporate life in the serene sayings of Scott Adams' preachings, others find creative release in enacting the events of the day over gooey sapad*. Stories of the outside world are few and far in between.

 

As pointed out by A. once, we retell the same stories in our group, every weekend, and the audience too listens in with as much enthusiasm as as the first time (even pitching in with the exact doubts and comments they had the last time around). Though now I seem to have overdone it, I get a particular glare when I take my stories/anecdotes/jokes/trivia for a rerun.

 

End result, the cynic in me, brought up with heavy doses of Calvin and Hobbes and Dilbert has taken full control over my mind. More often than not you will find me going, "yeh to hona hi tha". Eg.

 

"Bad day today!"

"yeh to hona hi tha"

 

"Sapad's yuck today!"

"yeh to hona hi tha"

 

"Tu fir yeh repeat kar rahaa hai"

"yeh to hona hi tha"

 

"Aaj fir jaldi nahi nikal paye"

"yeh to hona hi tha"

 

"Yeh vending machine se soup nahi nikal rahaa hai"

"yeh to hona hi tha"

 

"kal chutti nahi hai"

"yeh to hona hi tha"

 

"Tax mein bahut kat gayaa"

"yeh to hona hi tha"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your post wasn't worth waiting for.

 

Yeh to hona hi tha.

 

 

 

 

 

 *sapad: tamil for food; for us, canteen food, all other kind of food is just khana

Cure Me!

Does anybody recognize the symptoms? I am growing cynic-er and cynic-er with every passing day! Events which got me to this state will be detailed very soon in the next post.

Practice Makes Past Perfect

Stamping of naked feet on marbled floors,

The echo of lines from empty classroom doors,

 

Imagined sets and a ghost stage,

Markings on a battered page.,

 

Blinding lights and hidden eyes,

Revealed by laughs or by sighs,

 

Stench of anticipation and the taste of joy,

Slaps on the back and a few compliments coy,

 

To have lived all that, now life seems pale,

I would rather live in some one else's tale.

 

 

 

Hasn't he run out of sento yet, you say? [:D]

 

 

 

 

 

Move Over Ghalib! [:D]

Naacheez ka nazrana haazir hai,
zaroor batayiga kaisa laga:


Zindagi ko jab gaye gale lagaane,

Bachpan na jaane kyon rooth gayaa,

Ghum ne jab dono haath badhaye,

Hansi na jaane kahaan fisal gayi,

Yaaron ke saath khub jaam chalkaaye,

kabhi jhoome, kabhi gaaye,

lekin har baar,

khaali jeb,

khaali dil,

wapas aaye,

ab, dhuein ke andhere mein,

khud se lapata ho, baithe hain,

talaash hai us naseeb ki,

jo is waqt humein talaash rahi hai.

Nike Cricket Crazy

Check it out, if any goan knows the background song please let me know.

Four L's of Job Satisfaction

Courtsey kathakaar, these are the four L's of job satisfaction

 

1. Love, for the work

2. Lucre, of money

3. Liquidity, of brand name

4. Location, of preference

 

How many you got at your place?

 

Connecting People

Ok, here goes...

We are an Indian company, with a major stake by a British company, among others we supply to a Finnish company, we make their products on Swiss and Chinese machines. One of the raw materials we source from a small scale industry in the suburbs of Chennai, that particular plant is literally in the backyard of the multi story building  of an American consulting firm. Our supplier unit gets one of its components from Germany. He is also the supplier to Japanese shrimp companies that package and sell to malls in America and Italy.

The world Mr. Friedman is not only flat but right next door!

On God

Picked up Paulo Coelho's Like the Flowing River , browsed a few pieces then tossed it aside. There was something that I couldn't quite stand about the book. Took me sometime to gather my thoughts and realize what was wrong. It was all the stuff written about what God is like and what He expects out of us and how we've got Him wrong. For some reason I instantly distance myself from any such discourses. I don't like people telling me what God is and how I am supposed to look at Him. I am probably not an atheist, I say atheist because I know I am never going to meet God ever, I say 'probably', because atheisim, I feel, seems to be the easy way out, if I ain't seen it I'm not gonna believe it, too simple!

For me God exists in me, my God is the sum total of my experiences that make me stronger and better to face the world. My God is the guy in me who grits his teeth and whispers, "C'mon a little more buddy, almost there now," when the going is tough, My God is the guy who says "Koi nahi yaar! Hota hai!!" when I am feeling blue, He is the one who says, "Shit man! Shouldn't have done that," when I make a mistake or hurt someone. My relationship with my God is extremely personal and I don't want any one telling me how it should be.

My God is all mine. So don't tell me how he should be.

The Unkindest Cut

Must read this story first

The Unkindest Cut


The time has come when decisions have to be made, real tough ones, decision which tell you that you are growing up! I must admit though that I'm not liking it.


I'm not Jewish, so I will probably not face what the guys faces in the story, but still I can imagine how things would be, when you don't know which decision to take, everything you do ends up (as Calvin would say) "lowering your popularity charts" in some quarter or the other. In the end you don't know what you want.

No longer is there a good decision and or a bad one. You just choose one, cross your fingers and pray it turns out right in the end, and preferably remember it with a pinch of humour later on.

Ssssssomebody sssstop me!

Can't help but boogie whenever "Money for Nothing" starts playing


i want my , i want my, i want my, MTVeeeeeeee!!!! [:D]

















Btw, Check this out

13 Photographs that changed the world

Pretty cool list, though I would say a few are missing (and no I'm not referring to the one above), most of those missing that are top of mind are mentioned by other people in the comments section.
Few of my favorites not covered in the site are:



Revolutionary, militant, youth icon, t-shirts, hero; all these words bring this image to my mind. The pic of Che in the list maybe more of an impact to world history, but Che to me is this.






The eyes, they do it every time, if you want the history of the pic look up Sharbat Gula, National Geographic.



Any of your favorites not covered?

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities."

Dr. Seuss

Barber Shop Musings

It’s amazing how some things change at a pace that leaves you breathless and unable to cope up with and at the same time, there are certain things in live that just refuse to budge. It’s like they have reached the state which physicists call equilibrium. One such things in my life is the little barber shop around the corner from my house. Walking into the shop is like walking into an oil painting that you keep hanging on your wall, it’s as if it’s frozen like that, unaffected by the forces of time and nature. It actually feels quite awkward if you come back to a place after a year or so and see the place exactly like the memory you went away with. The barber is the same, although there might have been a hint of baldness. He sits me down, I don’t have to say anything, he knows my style and starts off. It feels good to be recognized after you have been treated like an alien for the past few months.

The sounds that come drifting in just reinforce the feeling, kids playing on the grounds of a primary school behind the shop. If you see through the window behind the shop (you can always do that in a barber’s without having to turn around [:)] ) it feels like the same kids have been playing for the 10 years I have frequented to the shop (even though in the initial years I might have been one of the kids!).

As if to pay homage to my thoughts, after he’s done, the barber asks me for 6 rupees! 6 rupees!! He’s been charging me 6 rupees for a hair cut ever since that was half my pocket money! Hasn’t he heard of inflation?

I walk back to my house bewildered, confused and with a hair cut exactly the way I like it.